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A Chef Will Never Say….
Date February 18, 2010
Author creative


A Chef Will Never Say….




“Nah, just go ahead and use the dull knife.”

“It doesn’t matter if the water isn’t boiling, go ahead and throw in that pasta.”

“I really appreciate and respect the wait staff.”

“No thanks, I don’t drink.”

“Just go ahead and used the canned salmon.”

“I like to be in bed by 8pm at the latest.”

“No need to season the sauce.”

“I don’t smoke.”

“I’d prefer not to have my name on my jacket; I’m too humble for that.”

“That’s too much butter.”

“Go ahead and use my knives if you want.”

“I hate caviar and truffles.”

“That food will be fine in the window for another five minutes.”

“I never check out the waitresses.”

“I love it when people ask for sauce on the side.”

“I’m happy to go out and talk to that customer for you.”

“More potato starch and corn starch please.”

“I don’t believe in eating, or preparing veal.”

“Feel free to use my office anytime.”

“I am calm, cool, and collected.”

“I would never throw anything in the kitchen.”

“Don’t season that meat before putting it on the grill.”

“Please use skim milk instead of heavy cream.”

“Duck confit is gross.”

“Foie Gras is unacceptable in this kitchen”

“You can use veggie oil instead of Extra Virgin Olive Oil.”

“Please feel free to give me advice on the new menu.”

If you have any to add, let me know!

Happy Cooking,

Chef Chuck Kerber

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14 Responses to A Chef Will Never Say….

  1. The Mom Chef says:

    “Just move the chicken out of the way if you need to use that cutting board.”

  2. Joel Luks says:

    Very funny! Good way to start my morning.

  3. Love these! Though I must admit I do use low-fat buttermilk or condensed skim milk instead of cream and try to keep butter to the minimum possible. The rest fit me pretty much to a T!

  4. I needed a good laugh thank you

  5. How about “Get out of my kitchen!” And I gotta admit I am not a chef but even if I were I would not check out the waitresses… maybe if they were waiters…

  6. Steve says:

    Don’t pre-heat the pan, just add the oil.

  7. These are great! And so true! Thanks for posting them. Here are a few more:

    “Go ahead and use my kinfe to cut the cardboard boxes.”

    “I love cooking well done filet mignon.”

    “You nicked yourself with your kinfe? Go ahead and take the day off.”

    “You would like a break in the middle of the rush? That’s fine.”

  8. This dietitian is cracking up over, “Please use skim milk instead of heavy cream” and several others. Very fun post.

  9. KIM says:

    ” Go ahead and substitute that margarine for butter”

  10. Nick Atonna says:

    I LOVE it when the gluten free crowd asks for a pasta special…oh and Vegetarians

  11. Very fun! Although I live in “Earthy” Asheville and know a couple of chefs that would forbid foie gras. Their lose!

  12. Sasha says:

    “Just season it at the end.”

    “Jarred garlic? That’ll do.”

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